Don't tell me I don't do anything...
For some time I have felt very under appreciated. Like all the things I do go unnoticed and only the things I don't do or don't do "right" are noticed. I load the dish washer wrong or don't finish the laundry fast enough or clean up immediately... I personally don't see anything wrong with how I do things and yes, I do admit I don't clean up right away at times but that is usually because I am so over whelmed with everything else I am keeping up with. Last night I got to hear all about how I can't do anything right. I was so pissed off and hurt, after I put the kids to bed, I literally locked my husband out of our bedroom while I balled on the bed. Eventually I let him in and then I went off about how I am sick of feeling reprimanded for not doing things right and how all the things I do go unnoticed especially when I make it a point to tell him thank you for everything he does (because he DOES do a lot around the house). Afterwards I ran down a list of my day...
I wake up early every morning and get myself dressed and teeth and hair brushed before I wake my oldest 2 and get out clothes for them to put on for school while making sure they get up and brush their teeth. Then I head straight down stairs and start packing my daughter's lunch for school as I greet the 1st of my preschoolers as they arrive between 6:30-6:45 a.m. and I prepare breakfast for all of the kids. While doing all of this I am making sure my oldest tends to her chores of giving the cats food and water and I brush her hair, making sure she is ready to go before her ride arrives or I have to take her to the bus stop. I am also making sure the little boy down the street who rides to school with her most days is ready too. And during this morning rush of geting kids out the door I have kids arriving at different times and the baby getting up and needing changing and feeding too, therapists arriving to work with my son. I am coordinating schedules for my son's therapies and working with the therapists on whatever goals we are working on so I can continue their work with him when they are not here. There is usually a meltdown or tantrum thrown somewhere in there and kids spilling something or making a big mess. I do all of this while I work on our preschool school curriculum and activites, all of which I have to plan out on my own and keep in it in an affordable budget. Mid morning I have to keep an ear out for my son's bus and walk him out to it when it arrives, making sure that he is dressed in his school uniform and that he has had a late morning snack as he doesn't get lunch at school since he is only there a few hours. Then it is lunch time and I have to get lunch made while tending to a now cranky baby who is also hungry NOW and keep the preschoolers preoccupied while I cook. Once the food is cooked and the kids have cleaned up their mess I feed all of them and put the baby down for a midday nap. Then we have our story time and the preschoolers have their "quiet rest time" where they nap or watch a video (if they have earned one) and this is usually ended as we get ready to go to the bus stop to greet my daughter and possibly 2 other kids as I have one child either picked up before we go, sometimes while we are at the bus stop or right after we get back. Then the afternoon is a bit sparatic as we get in more class time and parents pick up their kids anywhere between 3:30-7 p.m. And then greet my son's bus when it arrives going on 4 pm and fix a snack for all the kids once he gets here. I take the kids to the park or the library during the week on top of all this. At some point I eat during the day (often while the preschoolers are doing quiet rest time) and I try to keep up with the dishes and clean any spills, put away left overs, prepare meals and snacks, straighten up the bathroom, go through my kids backpacks checking for newsletters, fundraisers, teacher notes, school/homework, etc... I also make dinner 1/3 of the time and I am the one who tends to the bedtime routines of getting all 3 of my kids ready for bed and tucked in making sure chores and homework are done before the end of the day. I schedule doctor's appointments for everyone, call on bills, log and track everything for accounting purposes with the preschool, do half of the grocery shopping including going over sales and clipping coupons, shop for house hold items including clothes or shoes for the kids as they out grow their old ones, trips to the bank, take my daughter to her girl scout meetings and help coordinate outings for the troop. I am the one who coordinates birthdays and holidays (our kids wouldn't of had a christmas this year if I didn't take care of it), even with my in-law's side of the family I am who coordinates with them. I get the gifts and do the invites, etc... I tend to everyone's schedules including packing the diaper bag and making sure everyone is ready and has everything that they need for where ever they are going, his work and appointments, the kids' school schedules, therapy schedules, IEP's, their doctor and dentists appointments, my daughter's scouts, my work schedule which is 12.5 hour + days, 5 days a week, sometimes 12 days straight, while keeping track of the 10 different kids in my care (not all at the same time) and their families' schedules.... Its EXHAUSTING! So yes, sometimes I will let the dishes sit in the sink, or the laundry wait and enjoy some quiet, well quieter, time and enjoy watching a DVD with the kids on a weekend or taking them to the zoo or enjoy a little coffee time in the kitchen with a friend every few weeks...I also try to make sure that I do my charity work as I feel its good for my karma and I advocate for my son. To top all of this off, I am now doing all of this while advertising my openings in my preschool for August (5 of my students are moving on to kindergarten) and do so while cutting back on caffeine as I am pregnant and dealing with the crazy fatigue from pregnancy.....
After I gave this rundown to my husband he got quiet. And for the first time in about 8 years that I can recall, with out sarcasm or the tone of it being forced, he apologized to me and he seemed sincere. All of the feelings of frustrations and hurt just melted away. I was still angry though and refuse to let him hug me as I went to bed. I did sleep better though than I have in a long time.
I wake up early every morning and get myself dressed and teeth and hair brushed before I wake my oldest 2 and get out clothes for them to put on for school while making sure they get up and brush their teeth. Then I head straight down stairs and start packing my daughter's lunch for school as I greet the 1st of my preschoolers as they arrive between 6:30-6:45 a.m. and I prepare breakfast for all of the kids. While doing all of this I am making sure my oldest tends to her chores of giving the cats food and water and I brush her hair, making sure she is ready to go before her ride arrives or I have to take her to the bus stop. I am also making sure the little boy down the street who rides to school with her most days is ready too. And during this morning rush of geting kids out the door I have kids arriving at different times and the baby getting up and needing changing and feeding too, therapists arriving to work with my son. I am coordinating schedules for my son's therapies and working with the therapists on whatever goals we are working on so I can continue their work with him when they are not here. There is usually a meltdown or tantrum thrown somewhere in there and kids spilling something or making a big mess. I do all of this while I work on our preschool school curriculum and activites, all of which I have to plan out on my own and keep in it in an affordable budget. Mid morning I have to keep an ear out for my son's bus and walk him out to it when it arrives, making sure that he is dressed in his school uniform and that he has had a late morning snack as he doesn't get lunch at school since he is only there a few hours. Then it is lunch time and I have to get lunch made while tending to a now cranky baby who is also hungry NOW and keep the preschoolers preoccupied while I cook. Once the food is cooked and the kids have cleaned up their mess I feed all of them and put the baby down for a midday nap. Then we have our story time and the preschoolers have their "quiet rest time" where they nap or watch a video (if they have earned one) and this is usually ended as we get ready to go to the bus stop to greet my daughter and possibly 2 other kids as I have one child either picked up before we go, sometimes while we are at the bus stop or right after we get back. Then the afternoon is a bit sparatic as we get in more class time and parents pick up their kids anywhere between 3:30-7 p.m. And then greet my son's bus when it arrives going on 4 pm and fix a snack for all the kids once he gets here. I take the kids to the park or the library during the week on top of all this. At some point I eat during the day (often while the preschoolers are doing quiet rest time) and I try to keep up with the dishes and clean any spills, put away left overs, prepare meals and snacks, straighten up the bathroom, go through my kids backpacks checking for newsletters, fundraisers, teacher notes, school/homework, etc... I also make dinner 1/3 of the time and I am the one who tends to the bedtime routines of getting all 3 of my kids ready for bed and tucked in making sure chores and homework are done before the end of the day. I schedule doctor's appointments for everyone, call on bills, log and track everything for accounting purposes with the preschool, do half of the grocery shopping including going over sales and clipping coupons, shop for house hold items including clothes or shoes for the kids as they out grow their old ones, trips to the bank, take my daughter to her girl scout meetings and help coordinate outings for the troop. I am the one who coordinates birthdays and holidays (our kids wouldn't of had a christmas this year if I didn't take care of it), even with my in-law's side of the family I am who coordinates with them. I get the gifts and do the invites, etc... I tend to everyone's schedules including packing the diaper bag and making sure everyone is ready and has everything that they need for where ever they are going, his work and appointments, the kids' school schedules, therapy schedules, IEP's, their doctor and dentists appointments, my daughter's scouts, my work schedule which is 12.5 hour + days, 5 days a week, sometimes 12 days straight, while keeping track of the 10 different kids in my care (not all at the same time) and their families' schedules.... Its EXHAUSTING! So yes, sometimes I will let the dishes sit in the sink, or the laundry wait and enjoy some quiet, well quieter, time and enjoy watching a DVD with the kids on a weekend or taking them to the zoo or enjoy a little coffee time in the kitchen with a friend every few weeks...I also try to make sure that I do my charity work as I feel its good for my karma and I advocate for my son. To top all of this off, I am now doing all of this while advertising my openings in my preschool for August (5 of my students are moving on to kindergarten) and do so while cutting back on caffeine as I am pregnant and dealing with the crazy fatigue from pregnancy.....
After I gave this rundown to my husband he got quiet. And for the first time in about 8 years that I can recall, with out sarcasm or the tone of it being forced, he apologized to me and he seemed sincere. All of the feelings of frustrations and hurt just melted away. I was still angry though and refuse to let him hug me as I went to bed. I did sleep better though than I have in a long time.
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