I was told I was cheap and it hurt....

We went car shopping the other weekend. We only went to see one car but it was downtown Phoenix which is a far drive for us. We searched online and only came across the one that was in our price range with the options that we wanted, so we dropped the kids off with my parents so they would get too bored and went to check it out. When we got to the dealership it was a disappointment as the car did not have the package with the options we thought it had and the sales man, Scott, from internet sales was the worst too. He spent over half of the time texting on the phone and did not seem to know anything about the car when he showed it to us. They listed it wrong online; it was not the touring package and there were not fog lights or a sun roof. We told them no thanks and they insisted that we let them run numbers and see if they could provide a price that we would like to change our minds. They came back with a higher price than what was listed online as they were still trying to price it based on the nicer package, which the car did not have, and then they completely low-balled us on what they would offer for my car as a trade in. So we just walked out. We did our homework before we got there and I know what we could get for a trade in for my car and they were no where near that and they over priced a car that they had listed wrong.... Ridiculous!

To top it off, they called us about 5 times within less than a few hours of us leaving there, each time acting like they had no idea that we were already there that day and that we hadn't told the person who just called that. They are crazy if they think that is how you do business..... Nick Mayer Hyundai Kia on Camelback Road in Phoenix - never going there again!!


Babysitting after work has been really helpful with our budget. I honestly don't mind having the extra kids over and my kids see it as play dates. When I was growing up, my house was what they call the "cool-aid" house, where all the neighborhood kids would come over to hang out so I have always been used to a lot of kids running around.

Next Sunday afternoon, I plan to take our 2 puppies down to the pet store called "Pet Club" - Its the only pet shop in our town (our town is really small- this pet store sells saddles and baby chickens too to give you an idea of how rural and small our town is... I can't wait until we get a Target or Home Depot!). But every Sunday they have the "Vaccination Station" bus come and they give discounted vaccinations. $15 for each rabies shot and $22 for each booster that the puppies get (I don't remember what they are called but the puppies have to get them once every couple of weeks until they have all 4). That might sound like a lot if you do not have pets but it is actually a really good deal. The vets office in town charges around $80 per visit per puppy to get the vaccinations done- That is a lot! I love my pets but I do not have $160 to pay out of pocket every 2 weeks for puppy shots. Taking them to the Vaccination Station is going to only cost me about $88 for the 2 of them total the first visit and then only $44 total each of the following 3 visits (the difference is the rabies vaccinations the first visit). And they get the same care which is wonderful to me and my budget.

I am a little disappointed as I have been clipping all the coupons I come across regardless if I am going to use them or not and I have been putting aside the ones I am not going to use for a "coupon exchange" get-together. But the exchange ended up being scheduled when I have to be at work so I won't be able to go now. So I let some friends go through the ones I have been collecting so at least they can be used and it helps someone out....

I am starting to worry if I am not just being frugal but being "cheap". Last night the mom's group I try to participate with had a get together at Baskin Robins - They do family days on Tuesday's where they have $1 kids scoops and $1.50 regular scoops, and there is no extra charge for it to be on a regular cake or sugar cone. So I took the kids, my 2 and the little boy I watch. My total was only $3.00 and I used a $2 gift certificate and I was excited that they ran the $1 on my debit card as credit (I get a point for every dollar I run as credit on my debit card which add up and I can redeem for items). Is this going over board? Using a gift certificate on part of a $3 total? Here lately I can't seem to justify buying items that cost at the most $1.99 when buying groceries unless its an item you can't really find that cheap, toiletries, diapers, dog food, for example. And at that, even the dog food we buy, which is just as good as other dog foods is only $16.99 for a 50 lb bag... Even clothes I have gotten stingy. I don't like spending, at the most, $10-15 for a top ($15 on the high end only if its for something I need for work) and I may splurge and spend $20-30 for pants, which I VERY rarely buy. Kids clothes I won't spend more than $9 on and I usually try to find clothes that are between $2-$5 (thank you Target & Old Navy sales racks) . And for shoes for me I feel bad spending $30 on a pair and I won't spend more than $16 at the most on kids shoes. Outings, I pack lunches and bring them with us instead of buying happy meals or doughing out for the food at the zoo or somewhere. Has this gotten so out of control that instead of just being frugal that I have become so cheap? I am continuously finding myself out casted in conversations and groups because I don't know what is on TV because I can't afford cable and where we live is so out in the middle of no where that we cannot even pick up local TV stations. Or I have not seen the latest movies. I can't afford the admission to museums and science centers or festivals that require entrance fees and sometimes I just cannot use the gas in my car to get there otherwise I will not be able to afford enough gas to get to and from work. That I get looks of disbelief when I say I have never seen a certain sporting event or TV show or did not know the latest celebrity gossip. Or that I cannot go to the play date at McDonald's with the other mom's simply because I cannot afford the happy meals that they will be buying for all of their kids and I would rather not have my children cry wondering why they have to split the large chicken nuggets and dollar fries and why we share the refillable drink instead of them each getting their own cups and free toys and the looks of confusion as to why I don't get just the "happy meals" and so I avoid my feelings of shame and embarrassment by staying home instead. Coworkers give me odd looks at lunch because I always bring in my food and I was given a look of disbelief when one asked why I never ordered from the deli that delivers food to our office all the time and I said I could not afford their sandwiches. I feel worse when my boss makes a comment about how his wife hardly ever keeps leftovers to eat later when he saw me eating leftovers from home for my lunch because I cannot afford to eat out as I have a $300 a month grocery budget for my family and he scoffs and says his wife spends almost twice that a week on their groceries. Or my friends tell me that they're going to get their nails done at this salon that has a great deal and I cannot go as I cannot even afford the discounted price. Or I can't go to the movies with my best friend as I cannot afford the ticket.

I ask is this being cheap? I am in debt at the moment. We are scraping by but our bills are paid and paid on time each month and we are slowly trying to build some savings again. Every penny I do not spend on things that are not necessity at the moment goes to paying off debts and a roof over ours heads and food in our stomachs. Once those debts are gone - I never want to see them again and I am making sure of that now by using everything I can to pay them off. How can I say I have money for something or to do something when I still owe for something else? It is a depressing concept but to me it is powerful. It gives me motivation to get things done. Please do not call me cheap as that hurts. That is an insult to me. Being cheap is deliberately depriving yourself and your loved ones of not just "wants" but even some "needs". My kids are learning how to save and that it is important to pay your debts. And they still get to go and experience things. We do trips to the zoo as we are fortunate that we receive membership renewals each year as our families Christmas present from my in-laws. We will check out the free passes to museums when they are available at the library. We do activities like baking and gardening and bike rides to the park together. All things that we do not have to pay for. And all things we do together as a family. We cannot afford going out with friends to dinner or a concert but we have friends and family over and can cook dinner or grill out and play games, which are just as much fun. So we are not deprived. We are trying to be responsible and pay our debts and yet still enjoy life doing things that our within our means.

And yet I feel so alone and detached from the rest of the world....