Please do not tell me how to discipline my Children
Okay, so I originally set up this blog to post excerpts of my writing, short stories, etc... Not really anticipating to actually blog but I need to vent about something that has been eating at me for a couple of weeks now....
I am one for sharing ideas with other parents if you come across something that is helpful in everyday life, like how some of the Evenflo brand baby bottle nipples fit perfectly on to the Gerber baby juice to-go bottles (which is nice to know when you are out and about) or how I was warned that if a baby or toddler gets mushed banana on a white shirt that the banana can actually make a brown stain.... But I am against parents or anyone for that matter, telling me how to discipline my children. I am totally against child abuse and think that if anyone ever came across a parent taking discipline way too far and crossed that line into abuse, that they should definitely step in and do something. But do not tell me that I need to punish my child for something and how I should punish them.
I went to the zoo with my two children ages 4 and 2 1/2 and had met up with a friend of mine and her daughter who is going on 5 months. It was a nice day to get outside in the fresh air and be able to hang out with someone that I could have an actual conversation with on subjects other than dinosaurs or spiderman.
We took the kids to the farm area of the zoo where they have tractors the kids can play on, pet goats and sheep and they even have a little kids playground themed in farm life. My friend and I decided to take a breather after we ate lunch and allowed my kids to play in the little farm playground while her daughter napped in the stroller.
Then I heard my daughter calling for me upset. She was standing inside this green box shaped "tractor" next to a boy in a yellow shirt who is pretending to drive the "tractor".
"Mommy, he isn't sharing...." She wines. As she says this the little boy does almost like a body check to her to block her from gaining any access to the steering wheel. To teach her patience, I told her to just wait a bit longer and when he is done she can have her turn.
A few minutes go by and I hear my daughter again calling for me from the "tractor". The same boy in the yellow shirt is still pretending to drive and continues to block my daughter from having a turn by basically body checking her. At this point the boy should of given up his turn as he had been "driving" this "tractor" for a while and should allow another kid a turn but instead he decides to push my daughter.
About the exact moment that my daughter called out for me and I turned to see this little boy pushing her my son walks up and hits the boy on the back/shoulder. Not a closed fist hit but a 2 year old style hit that doesn't really do any damage other than hurt some one's feelings. And before I could even intervene the little boy looks over and says, "Mommy, he hit me!"
Turns out that the lady sitting next to me was his mother and has been sitting there the entire time and did nothing as she watch her son shove my daughter.
I immediately jumped up and picked up my son and told him "No hitting" and I apologized to the little boy and then I proceeded to take my son out of the play area as I told him that he was going to have to sit and have a time out for hitting before he could play more.
As I headed back to the wall to sit with my son the boy in the yellow shirt's mom looked at me and said "When my son hits, I make him apologize and that gets the point across not to hit..."
"WTF!" Is the only thing that I felt like saying. All I wanted to do was punch this lady in the mouth. How dare her for insinuating that I needed to make my son apologize. Her son was shoving my daughter and she didn't make him say sh*t in regards to an apology to her! And my son was clearly sticking up for his big sister which is a major "Yay!" moment for me as my son has a difficult time acknowledging and noticing when someone else is upset like that. Plus my son cannot even say the word "Sorry" yet. He has an Expressive Language Disorder and can only say about 10-15 words that a stranger would understand; we are still working with him to say "juice" correctly. And he is what they call "At risk for Autism" since we have to finish his evaluation. So I have learned that I have to approach things a little bit differently with him to get him to understand.
So don't tell me how to discipline my child! If it was my daughter that hit the boy, yes, I would have her apologize as that is the right thing to do anyways. But with my son I have to handle things a bit differently. I apologized to the boy on behalf of my son but I also did not just let my son get away with hitting either. I took him out of the play area and made him sit in time out and told him about how we do not hit because it hurts others and we want to treat others how we want to be treated. I don't allow my children to just run wild.
All I wanted to do was smack that lady! How dare she! Who does she think she is!?! I tried to set the example and she has the audacity to tell me my son needs to apologize yet she does nothing in regards to her son shoving/body checking my daughter!... But I was good and instead, loudly told my children it was time to go and see more animals. And I was proud of that moment not only for my own accomplishment of not slugging her but mostly of how my son recognized his sister was in trouble and stood up to a kid twice his size to defend her.
I am one for sharing ideas with other parents if you come across something that is helpful in everyday life, like how some of the Evenflo brand baby bottle nipples fit perfectly on to the Gerber baby juice to-go bottles (which is nice to know when you are out and about) or how I was warned that if a baby or toddler gets mushed banana on a white shirt that the banana can actually make a brown stain.... But I am against parents or anyone for that matter, telling me how to discipline my children. I am totally against child abuse and think that if anyone ever came across a parent taking discipline way too far and crossed that line into abuse, that they should definitely step in and do something. But do not tell me that I need to punish my child for something and how I should punish them.
I went to the zoo with my two children ages 4 and 2 1/2 and had met up with a friend of mine and her daughter who is going on 5 months. It was a nice day to get outside in the fresh air and be able to hang out with someone that I could have an actual conversation with on subjects other than dinosaurs or spiderman.
We took the kids to the farm area of the zoo where they have tractors the kids can play on, pet goats and sheep and they even have a little kids playground themed in farm life. My friend and I decided to take a breather after we ate lunch and allowed my kids to play in the little farm playground while her daughter napped in the stroller.
Then I heard my daughter calling for me upset. She was standing inside this green box shaped "tractor" next to a boy in a yellow shirt who is pretending to drive the "tractor".
"Mommy, he isn't sharing...." She wines. As she says this the little boy does almost like a body check to her to block her from gaining any access to the steering wheel. To teach her patience, I told her to just wait a bit longer and when he is done she can have her turn.
A few minutes go by and I hear my daughter again calling for me from the "tractor". The same boy in the yellow shirt is still pretending to drive and continues to block my daughter from having a turn by basically body checking her. At this point the boy should of given up his turn as he had been "driving" this "tractor" for a while and should allow another kid a turn but instead he decides to push my daughter.
About the exact moment that my daughter called out for me and I turned to see this little boy pushing her my son walks up and hits the boy on the back/shoulder. Not a closed fist hit but a 2 year old style hit that doesn't really do any damage other than hurt some one's feelings. And before I could even intervene the little boy looks over and says, "Mommy, he hit me!"
Turns out that the lady sitting next to me was his mother and has been sitting there the entire time and did nothing as she watch her son shove my daughter.
I immediately jumped up and picked up my son and told him "No hitting" and I apologized to the little boy and then I proceeded to take my son out of the play area as I told him that he was going to have to sit and have a time out for hitting before he could play more.
As I headed back to the wall to sit with my son the boy in the yellow shirt's mom looked at me and said "When my son hits, I make him apologize and that gets the point across not to hit..."
"WTF!" Is the only thing that I felt like saying. All I wanted to do was punch this lady in the mouth. How dare her for insinuating that I needed to make my son apologize. Her son was shoving my daughter and she didn't make him say sh*t in regards to an apology to her! And my son was clearly sticking up for his big sister which is a major "Yay!" moment for me as my son has a difficult time acknowledging and noticing when someone else is upset like that. Plus my son cannot even say the word "Sorry" yet. He has an Expressive Language Disorder and can only say about 10-15 words that a stranger would understand; we are still working with him to say "juice" correctly. And he is what they call "At risk for Autism" since we have to finish his evaluation. So I have learned that I have to approach things a little bit differently with him to get him to understand.
So don't tell me how to discipline my child! If it was my daughter that hit the boy, yes, I would have her apologize as that is the right thing to do anyways. But with my son I have to handle things a bit differently. I apologized to the boy on behalf of my son but I also did not just let my son get away with hitting either. I took him out of the play area and made him sit in time out and told him about how we do not hit because it hurts others and we want to treat others how we want to be treated. I don't allow my children to just run wild.
All I wanted to do was smack that lady! How dare she! Who does she think she is!?! I tried to set the example and she has the audacity to tell me my son needs to apologize yet she does nothing in regards to her son shoving/body checking my daughter!... But I was good and instead, loudly told my children it was time to go and see more animals. And I was proud of that moment not only for my own accomplishment of not slugging her but mostly of how my son recognized his sister was in trouble and stood up to a kid twice his size to defend her.
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