I'll Poop You Wrong
There are things that parents come to learn once they have children, like fish enjoy reading which is why there are books in the fish tank, that “juice” doesn’t necessarily mean the liquid that is squeezed from fruit and then jarred, but it can also stand for chocolate milk or tea and if you are to misinterpret its intended meaning you will be dealing with a stream of tears and cries of how horrible a parent you are. One thing that is quickly learned once you have children is however, how to tell if the child needs their diaper changed. As parents, we have learned how to determine this through means that make other non-parent individuals stare at us as though we just ate the contents of a diaper. We will lift the child into the air if there is a notion that our child has soiled themselves and sniff the hind end or pull the diaper open enough with our fingers around the leg holes or back of the diaper to see if we can see anything that may be causing the stench that is lurking around our little one.
I remember a friend of mine, who was not used to being around very small children, go into what seemed as complete shock and panic that I pulled at my daughter’s diaper to see if I could see poop in it.
“Aren’t you afraid you are going to get poop on you checking like that!?!” She exclaimed in a manner as though I had just walked into oncoming traffic wearing a blindfold.
“No…” I replied. If only others realized that throughout a parent’s life, there are multiple occasions where one will come in actual contact with poop.
But the easiest way a parent can tell when their child needs changing is simply whether or not the diaper is “poofy” like a wet sponge that doesn’t drip. Wet diapers simply balloon up and it becomes visually obvious that the child needs changing. But then there are times that, due to how a child is sitting or how their clothes are pulled with all of the straps of car seats and grocery cart straps etc., it can often appear as though the diaper is “poofy” and in need of changing when it actually is completely dry and clean. These are the times that drive my husband crazy. Let me reword that- These are the times that I drive my husband crazy. I seem to have an excellent eye to catch the view of the “poofy” diaper and my husband claims that close to 90% of the time, the “poofiness” is nothing more than a visual illusion and he finds that the diaper is dry and clean when he changes it. This frustrates him to a point where you can almost see steam escaping through his ears.
One night after dinner, my son who is still in diapers, was standing on a chair at the table as my husband wiped off spaghetti sauce from his hands and face with a damp wash cloth before allowing him away from the table to play. My son was dressed only in a red t-shirt and a diaper. I could see that his diaper had the “poofy” appearance.
“He looks wet. I think he’s wet. Can you change him?” I asked of my husband since I was still finishing my food and he had already cleaned his plate.
“You always say that! He doesn’t seem wet…” he moaned.
“He looks poofy. He is wet,” I insisted.
“Every time you say that, I go to change his diaper and he is clean.”
“But he is poofy! Look! His diaper is poofy!” I insisted. What happened to the normal days? When did we begin to argue over the “poofiness” of a child’s diaper?
In a dramatic effort to prove me wrong, that the diaper was clean and dry, my husband quickly undid the diaper straps in a overly dramatic movement with the intent to let our son run off in the suit that God gave him leaving behind what my husband insisted as a clean diaper.
That didn’t happen.
Instead my husband realized his mistake as the diaper began to fall off and it became very obvious that my son in fact, had soiled himself.
I have never seen my husband move so quickly before. My husband moved at super human speed to quickly reseal the diaper so he could carry it and my son to the other room to be cleaned and changed.
Awh… The joy of parenthood.
I remember a friend of mine, who was not used to being around very small children, go into what seemed as complete shock and panic that I pulled at my daughter’s diaper to see if I could see poop in it.
“Aren’t you afraid you are going to get poop on you checking like that!?!” She exclaimed in a manner as though I had just walked into oncoming traffic wearing a blindfold.
“No…” I replied. If only others realized that throughout a parent’s life, there are multiple occasions where one will come in actual contact with poop.
But the easiest way a parent can tell when their child needs changing is simply whether or not the diaper is “poofy” like a wet sponge that doesn’t drip. Wet diapers simply balloon up and it becomes visually obvious that the child needs changing. But then there are times that, due to how a child is sitting or how their clothes are pulled with all of the straps of car seats and grocery cart straps etc., it can often appear as though the diaper is “poofy” and in need of changing when it actually is completely dry and clean. These are the times that drive my husband crazy. Let me reword that- These are the times that I drive my husband crazy. I seem to have an excellent eye to catch the view of the “poofy” diaper and my husband claims that close to 90% of the time, the “poofiness” is nothing more than a visual illusion and he finds that the diaper is dry and clean when he changes it. This frustrates him to a point where you can almost see steam escaping through his ears.
One night after dinner, my son who is still in diapers, was standing on a chair at the table as my husband wiped off spaghetti sauce from his hands and face with a damp wash cloth before allowing him away from the table to play. My son was dressed only in a red t-shirt and a diaper. I could see that his diaper had the “poofy” appearance.
“He looks wet. I think he’s wet. Can you change him?” I asked of my husband since I was still finishing my food and he had already cleaned his plate.
“You always say that! He doesn’t seem wet…” he moaned.
“He looks poofy. He is wet,” I insisted.
“Every time you say that, I go to change his diaper and he is clean.”
“But he is poofy! Look! His diaper is poofy!” I insisted. What happened to the normal days? When did we begin to argue over the “poofiness” of a child’s diaper?
In a dramatic effort to prove me wrong, that the diaper was clean and dry, my husband quickly undid the diaper straps in a overly dramatic movement with the intent to let our son run off in the suit that God gave him leaving behind what my husband insisted as a clean diaper.
That didn’t happen.
Instead my husband realized his mistake as the diaper began to fall off and it became very obvious that my son in fact, had soiled himself.
I have never seen my husband move so quickly before. My husband moved at super human speed to quickly reseal the diaper so he could carry it and my son to the other room to be cleaned and changed.
Awh… The joy of parenthood.
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